Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Sweet, sweet parents...

As an only child, my parents have obviously been my closest companions through life. I was 4 going on 27, they'll tell you. Sometimes I feel like I may have been robbed of my childhood because my parents never treated me like anything other than a mini-adult. Here are some examples:

No Barney, no Barbie dolls. My life was completely devoid of anything that might be part of popular culture. I take that back; I did have a Teddy Ruxpin, but I found him EXTREMELY freaky and put him under my bed, never to return from the dark abyss. This just leads to confusion when people talk about "Papa Smurf." Who the heck is Papa Smurf, and why is he so important to society!??

I'm pretty sure I was listening to Pink Floyd, Bob Dylan and the Allman Brothers while I was still in my momma's belly. New Kids on the Block? Had a thermos with their pictures on it just because they were cute, but I hadn't heard one note of a song they had sung. It's apparently not as cool to walk around with a Jimi Hendrix thermos?

Bicycles. Now, these are a staple in the lives of many kids. I, however, rode a bicycle ONCE when growing up. I lived in the middle of the country on gravel roads and didn't have anywhere to ride one. I finally learned how to actually ride a bike in my 25th year. Pathetic.

I knew what "good beer" was long before 21. Now, don't think my parents were awful and filled my bottles with Sam Adams, they just taught me that there was an art to beer that shouldn't be ignored. From an early age, I witnessed them as they turned up their noses at Miller Lite and Coors. If you were enjoying a Natty Light or a Keystone, they would shiver as judgment passed through their bodies. And so I learned to go out on a limb and try new beers (when I was of age...). I caught myself the other day when I called someone out on their beer of choice. I knew it would have made my parents proud.

So, it's a complete surprise that I'm even close to being well-adjusted without the Smurfs, the NKOTB, Natty Light and bicycles. I only had the endless pastures and a creek (with a natural waterfall!) to play in. I had the cows to antagonize and the trees to climb. I had my imagination. And you know, I really wouldn't have it any other way.

For your viewing pleasure, here are the darlings I speak of:

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